Doing it for the Plot: The Rule of Cool in Young Adult Ministry
Rules are Necessary
Rules are good. Boundaries are healthy. Vision is vital. G.K. Chesterton often used vivid analogies to explain why structure isn't a cage, but a gift. He once noted that the most important part of a picture is the frame. On another occasion, he famously remarked that while the Church has walls, they are the walls of a playground. We learn a great deal from the boundaries we set for ourselves and our ministries, but we also need to know when to open the gate.
In the world of board games, the necessity of rules is undeniable. They provide the map for how to enjoy the challenge ahead. Yet, even in the most meticulous tabletop games, there is a "killswitch" to rigid enforcement.
When Rules Should be Broken
Take Dungeons and Dragons, for example. It is a world of dense lore and complex mechanics where fans notice every minor detail. Even so, seasoned players live by the “Rule of Cool.” This is the moment a Dungeon Master overrides a technical rule to allow for an epic, unforgettable beat. In movies, it’s why capes flap dramatically in the vacuum of space, why action heroes never seem to run out of ammo, and why the stunts in Fast and the Furious work. It is the simple understanding that, occasionally, the rules should step aside for the sake of the story.
To be clear, we are not talking about suspending Doctrine, the Liturgy, or formal Church instruction. Those are the foundations. However, the internal "house rules" we create to keep our ministries organized and our sanity intact can sometimes block the movement of the Spirit.
Be Alert to the Opportunities
Every once in a while, we should be brave enough to break our own protocols for the sake of something truly impactful. We always need to be mindful that Ministry at its core, should be joyful. Allowing ourselves to make an exception. These are just a few ways this opportunity could show up:
Venturing Beyond the Parish Lines: Perhaps a new venue opens up and a generous donor offers to foot the bill, but it is well outside your usual radius. Go for it. Make it a rare treat, capture the memories, and show your community that the faith travels with you.
Shaking Up the Schedule: If the men’s group always meets on Mondays, that consistency is great. But with Lent approaching, why not signal the change in season? Meet for cigars and fellowship on Mardi Gras instead. Give the ministry permission to be joyful and communal.
Scrapping the Lesson Plan: You might have a theologically rich night of formation ready to go. But if your people show up worn down, stressed, and exhausted from a brutal week, read the room. Skip the PowerPoint, light the parish fire pit, and invite your priest to simply be a father to his flock. Sometimes, the most "formational" thing you can do is hold space for one another.
Flexibility and the Holy Spirit
We must be confident enough in our guidelines to know when to set them aside. When we get too wrapped up in procedure, we forget that we are ministering to real people who are drawn to beauty and excitement.
I once worked with a holy but strict business manager, and even he knew when to make a choice for the sake of the plot. One of these rare moments, he approved a portable rock wall for a regular middle school youth group. And his logic? It was more fun, because he realized that bringing the adventure to the church would engage more hearts than asking them to travel elsewhere. And his logic? It was more fun.
Let this be your permission to break one of your own rules this month. Be flexible to what the Holy Spirit is doing in the moment. These "Rule of Cool" opportunities often become the stories your young adults tell for years to come.
